The Livewire Br. Loy Fernandes – A Personal Tribute

A Life Written in Smiles, Washed off by Waters
20 Aug 2006. God gave you His life, He took it away; blessed be His name forever.
My association with Loy goes back to 1997, when I met him at Loyola, Mangalore. Loyola is study house for young boys, who aspire to be Jesuits in the future. During this phase they do their PUC (11-12th standard) or undergraduation, afterwhich they decide either to commit themselves to be Jesuits, or leave for what they hope to be greener pastures.

[The effervescent Loy was a favourite with everyone – young and old, rich and the poor, boys and girls]

Loy was a young little boy, full of beans. Anyone not knowing Loy well, might easily mistake him for over-enthusiasm, hyperactivity, or even looking for attention. But on second thought/ second encounter, s/he would realise how wrong one was to have views on Loy.

Loy was born in Jeppu, Mangalore, on 19.10.1981. He is the first son of Mr Ligoury Fernandes and Mrs Margaret Fernandes. Two more brothers followed Loy: Lancy (a Jesuit scholastic, currently studying BSc – II in Dharwad) and his youngest brother.

Loy was very fond of his brothers. During one of our meetings I fooled him about his attachment to his home, and he apologetically and mischievously said, “No Father; it is my brother’s B’day. I want him to be happy. Besides, he is very close to me.”

At Loyola Mangalore, Loy decided he was sure what he wanted to be: a Jesuit preist, and nothing else. He proceded to Bangalore (1991, June) to Mount Saint Joseph. It is our Novitiate, where candidates are trained in intense spiritual practices – prayer, medidation, spiritual pursuit. They are also given a taste of other spiritualities like Yoga – anything that helps a person to be spiritually strong.

[Who could miss that mischievous smile and sharp look in eyes? Loy liked being noticed; probably everyone had a photograph of/with Loy]

At the end of two years, in 2001 June, Loy made his Perpetual Commitment (the First Vows for Jesuits). He declared he would live a poor life (POVERTY) detached from material goods (without having a claim on anything as his own), CHASTITY to live a chaste and pure life (to love and live for God and for others with an undivided commitment) and OBEDIENCE (to do the will of God, to sacrifice one’s own free will in favour of God & common good). He was a Jesuit.

From Bangalore, he moved to Trivandrum to do his Juniorate. It is a one year programme, where a jesuit learns to study, to get in touch with the variety of Indian cultures and arts, tries to master skills like public speaking, group discussions, psycho-social relationships, and a lot more things.

After Juniorate, Loy wanted to do journalism. He told me that he wanted to be a journalist, and he wanted me to help him. Obviously St Aloysius (SAC) was the best destination, in the given situation and Jesuit context. I was a lecturer at SAC, but had just moved to Pune for two years (2002-04) to pursue my doctoral studies. And Loy came to SAC, residing at Asha Kiran at Kaprigudda, Jesuit study house for brothers doing undergraduate studies.

In 2004 June I was back at Dept of Journalism, SAC. Loy was the very first student who met me. Welcomed me with his typical warm smile. “Welcome Father, all are waiting for you!” I fooled Loy for that exaggeration. But that was his mischievous style, accompanied by broad smile and a twinkle in his eyes!

On my first visit to Loy’s class, I picked up on Loy; he was being extra chirpy. Full of life; wanted to keep talking or doing something or the other all the time. Else, he felt restless. “Loy seems to very famous in the class!” said I, meaning, he was communicating too much with his friends during the class! Everybody had a hearty laughter. But there was no malice.

[During his undergraduation days, Loy played a major role in the success of Karnataka Open School, which was conducted by the Asha Kiran Brothers on Sundays. Here, Loy is seen with his Open School teammates]

I knew that the batch had immense potential. I started demanding from the students. First thing on my demand list was my typical SEMINAR. If any student failed to submit in time, s/he would be punished. After the class Loy told me how difficult and yet useful the seminar would be. Then came DHWANI, students’ practice journal. A real challenge to any student. And you know, who took up the leadership to get the class together and publish it? Our own Br Loy with his friend Br Anil D’Sa (SDB).

The student-duo did not get the necessary support from all their classmates, specially when the material was to be edited. But Loy and Anil struggled hard; very hard. Just two of them. In spite of their religious restrictions, they stayed back late evenings and got the magazine published. This was the ONLY time in the College that Dhwani was published in July! Never before, never after! The two student editors also managed to get the maximum advertisements with the help of their classmates, so much so, the front and back cover of the magazine was done on art paper! Many old students exclamied, “how did you manage to get THIS KIND OF MONEY?”

Loy was a go-getter. I wanted my students to learn video camera work. Hence, I threw a challenge before each of Loy’s classmates (final years): make a short documentary on any of the (19) units of SAC, such as Aloysian Boys’ Home (ABH), Ladies Hostel, Middle School, etc. We had already acquired two handycams and an editing machine (computer). The occasion was right: Post Centenary Silver Jubilee (125 years) celebration of SAC. Nobody came forward. I repeated my challenge after a few weeks. No takers. Repeated. No takers. And after a couple of days one student comes forward: Loy. He told me, “Father, I want to do a documentary on ABH. Could you help me?”

He had taken with him Keshava, his classmate from Kannada background, who always kept a very low profile. Loy wanted everybody – he knew no discriminations; favouritism was not his way.

In making the documentary, Loy conducted quite a bit of research; he met many people regarding ABH. He wrote the script. Brought it to me for corrections. Rewrote. Took Arron Menezes (then First Year Journalism) with him to assist in camera work. This was how Arron was first initiated to camera; and today, Arron is a fine camera man! Arron feels Loy’s absence, bitterly.

Loy and I started editing the footage. It was all grainy: Loy had too many etreme-long-shots. I was not happy, hence, pointed it out. “Would you like to go ahead with this?”

Loy was not sure. He said ‘yes.’ “You can, if you want to,” I told him. The problem for you would be to reshoot the entire sequence, specially involving the persons whom you have interviewed! It would be embarrassing. On the other hand, even if you want to continue with the same footage, problem will be you won’t be able to show it anyone because of its low quality. Think over it.”

In spite of feeling bad, he met Sr Albert of ABH and reshot her interview! This time he had better footage. But there was some problem, specially in the shots on the sea shore, where he read out a poem on SAC, the rallying point of the documentary.

By then it was revision holidays in March; the College was siezed with exam fever. I had to lock the studio, and move to Pune. But Loy kept pestering me even during my Pune sojourn. I promised him that I would be back in May, and we could edit the footage. I returned. We had one day to work on and then proceed to Chennai for philosophy en route Bangalore. We tried to work. He had done some more work. But I was not satisfied with the quality of the footage. Loy’s project remained half-done! Only his spirit remained behind that unfinished work. Well, his spirit has remained in the Department, in fact in the College.

After his graduation, he wanted to go to Pune for philosophy, since some Jesuits think Chennai is not a good place, and Pune is better! He spoke to me. Since I had done my philosophy in Chennai, I know the place and its merits quite well. I encouraged him. When he went to Chennai, he was happy. He said that it so many times, in his mails.

One of Loy’s characteristics was regular communication; from Chennai, it was email forwards – to hundreds of them. I do not know if Loy got so much of time to read all those forwards he sent! He would send so many forwards, that many of his classmates and friends got irritated! Some of them asked him to ‘write’ mails; a few gave their mobile numbers to be called! And Loy did call them. Just an hour before that fateful swim in the sea on 18th, he called some of his classmates in Mangalore, and one of my currently final year students in Mangalore – the final calls – thanks to her for sending her mobile number.

Between 14 August and 18, Loy had his internal examinations. Soon after his exams, he was on a mail-sending and phoning spree; he had to restrict all these things during the examinations week, though not stop. In the context of his unfortunate demise, I have been getting hundreds of mails and phonecalls to tell me how they recieved those forwards from him, how he called him/ her on 18th evening, etc!

Loy had no dearth of friends. Everybody had seen in him a loving friend, an understanding brother or reliable companion. I had foreseen a great future in media for Loy. When I wanted some students to write on college issues to newspapers, Loy was the only one who volunteered to write. And he wrote almost every week to Deccan Herald. He wrote well. When an article of his published, he excitedly called me up and said, “Father, you kow, today two (sometimes three!) of my write-ups are published! Please read them, and tell me how they are.”

On 19th Aug, Sr Albert recalled how Loy had done three features on ABH for Deccan Herald, how he had done some video work, etc. Kids and sisters at ABH remember that, too well.

I wanted Loy to be a Media man in the Karnataka Jesuit province. Loy had his eyes set on Nagaland Jesuit region. He loved adventures, he loved pioneering work. I had requested to the Karnataka Jesuit Provincial against sending Loy outside Karnataka, for I wanted him in Karnataka! When I spoke to Loy on that, and told him how many dreams I have for him in Karnataka Jesuit media scenario, how much I want him to be with me, to work with me as a Jesuit companion, he said he would think and tell me. He may have thought of; but he never told me; he would never tell me, either. All that I know and hope for is that I will miss his physical presence. I know his spirit is with me. Probably, when I follow him someday, we will be together. But Loy, I miss you. So do hundreds of your friends, classmates, juniors… Can you read those emails coming to my email box and your own email box to tell how they miss you? how they are shocked? how wonderful you had been to them? Even those strangers, who met you just for a fleeting moment?

Loy was a bundle of talents: of head and heart, of creativity and spontaneity. He was a voracious reader, prolific writer, both during his Journalism days and philosophy days at Chennai, where he worked for a local English daily Adyar Times. He wanted me to network with this paper; he said so in so many words. No one can beat Loy’s oratorial skills and sociability, much less his indomitable spirit. In every music/ singing group, Loy was a must. With all this, how did he manage to secure a distinction in every exam, every year? God alone knows! Probably, he was God’s favourite too.

Loy, you were too good; enviably good; probably, God did not want to miss you for too long. Just like us, human beings, God also wanted your company. But never forget us, your family and your friends, and above all your Jesuit family. We miss you. Rest in Peace, plead for us. Good bye. : Fr Richie Rego SJ, your Journalism teacher and Jesuit Companion.